My Bed!

Ratchet’s report:

I have found the bed of my dreams. You know how they talk about “sleeping on a cloud” on the TV? Dog, I am here to tell you, I got that bed.

We were toolin’ around in the Corgi car (Mom’s a pretty good chauffeur, takes us all kinds of places), catching some sniffs and enjoying a rare sunny day, when we pulled into the PetsMart parking lot. We all piled out of the car and headed into the store, after we picked up the p-mail and made some deposits for the other dogs who visit PetsMart. It really is the place to pee and read pee, you know. Seriously.

The moms were going on about some sort of sale they were having on beds. I wasn’t paying much attention because all the guys with the PetsMart badges were coming over and making a fuss about how cute Clank and I are. Natch. We’re pretty dapper dudes, even if the Wart is sort of goofy.

We collected a bunch of scritches and cookies from the staff and I was just wondering why they hire people who don’t know their own names. Must be some kind of program for absent-minded humans. No lie. They all have their names written on their badges so they’ll know who they are. Really nice folks and all, but it seems sort of sad.

Just about that time, Mom started putting beds on the floor and telling us to try ‘em out. Some were too small and some were too big. Others were flat and some were kind of poofy, but then they found this really comfy oval one with nice bolsters around the edges. I got on that one and said to myself, ‘Now this is cush!” So I grinned and gave them the old tongue loll and they picked the thing up and we took it home.

Now it’s strategically located in the office, right by my Mom, so when she’s working at her desk I can keep an eye on her. Clank tries to get on the bed, but I let him know that it’s a no-Wart zone. I’m not a total hog, though. I let him lie on it whenever I am in the living room on the leather couch. After all, I’m a real generous guy.

I love this bed. It’s so comfy I just want to sleep all day, except when Clank and I play “drag the corgi on his bed around the room.” Well, then and whenever I need to go outside and lecture those Chihuahuas in the yard behind ours about proper etiquette. Good times.

Hmm, I think it’s time for a nap. Later, Dogs.