Monday, March 8, 2010

Fluff and Photos

Ratchet’s Report:

I am here to tell you that humans are sneaky. There we were, all amped and ready for another awesome play day with all the guys at Happy Puppy Park, when Mom pulled a fast one on us. She lulled us into thinking that the whole day would be carefree fun and frolic. We could not have been more wrong.

Middle of the afternoon and a groomer showed up! That’s right, baths, brush outs and nail clipping. Worse yet, we weren’t allowed back on the playground afterward so we wouldn’t mess up our coiffures. Yeesh.

I will admit that the Moms made a big fuss over us when we got home. Treats and hugs and even pictures. It was a pretty good evening. So I guess getting groomed wasn’t so bad after all.

The funny thing is that Clank blew up to about twice his size after the lady brushed him out. Mom says he’s a “Fluff,” whatever that means. I think he looks sort of silly with all that hair sticking out in every direction. Personally, I prefer the dapper clean lines of a nice sleek coat, myself. Ahem.

Anyway, here are some pictures so you can see how we came out.

P.S. After all that, it only took Clank about two days working on his archeological dig in the back yard to turn his paws beige again. Mom is already threatening to toss him the bath tub. I intend to stay nice and clean so she doesn’t get any crazy ideas about washing me.

Monday, March 1, 2010

My Bed!

Ratchet’s report:
I have found the bed of my dreams. You know how they talk about “sleeping on a cloud” on the TV? Dog, I am here to tell you, I got that bed.
We were toolin’ around in the Corgi car (Mom’s a pretty good chauffeur, takes us all kinds of places), catching some sniffs and enjoying a rare sunny day, when we pulled into the PetsMart parking lot. We all piled out of the car and headed into the store, after we picked up the p-mail and made some deposits for the other dogs who visit PetsMart. It really is the place to pee and read pee, you know. Seriously.
The moms were going on about some sort of sale they were having on beds. I wasn’t paying much attention because all the guys with the PetsMart badges were coming over and making a fuss about how cute Clank and I are. Natch. We’re pretty dapper dudes, even if the Wart is sort of goofy.
We collected a bunch of scritches and cookies from the staff and I was just wondering why they hire people who don’t know their own names. Must be some kind of program for absent-minded humans. No lie. They all have their names written on their badges so they’ll know who they are. Really nice folks and all, but it seems sort of sad.
Just about that time, Mom started putting beds on the floor and telling us to try ‘em out. Some were too small and some were too big. Others were flat and some were kind of poofy, but then they found this really comfy oval one with nice bolsters around the edges. I got on that one and said to myself, ‘Now this is cush!” So I grinned and gave them the old tongue loll and they picked the thing up and we took it home.
Now it’s strategically located in the office, right by my Mom, so when she’s working at her desk I can keep an eye on her. Clank tries to get on the bed, but I let him know that it’s a no-Wart zone. I’m not a total hog, though. I let him lie on it whenever I am in the living room on the leather couch. After all, I’m a real generous guy.
I love this bed. It’s so comfy I just want to sleep all day, except when Clank and I play “drag the corgi on his bed around the room.” Well, then and whenever I need to go outside and lecture those Chihuahuas in the yard behind ours about proper etiquette. Good times.
Hmm, I think it’s time for a nap. Later, Dogs.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Corgi Christmas Craziness

Clank's report:

Sorry I haven't posted for a long time, but I've been really, really busy. Little did I know when Ratchet started talking about Santy Paws and holidays that it would turn out to be the mostest fun you could pack into a couple of weeks! Where to begin?

Things were kind of quiet after the photo session and I started thinking Ratchet was just yanking my tail with all that mysterious stuff about stockings and Christmas morning and all that. Boy, was I wrong.

A couple days later, the moms were all excited and they started talking about the Corgi car arriving on Tuesday. They went away in the morning really early and when Mommy Shar came home, she was driving a brand new car. It's bright orange and has a back seat that folds down so we can run around, but we have to wear our safety harnesses, so we can't run very far. But it does have lots of windows and I even looked out and sniffed the breezes until it started raining. So that was our first present.

The next week, we took a HUGE long ride in the Corgi car all the way to a place called Olympia. It was pretty neat, but it got awful cold and started raining just as we were walking around Capital Lake and we had to run back to the car so we wouldn't drown.

Then Christmas came and we got lots of cool presents in these funny-looking things called stockings that were "hung by the chimney with care," whatever that means. It was easy to tell which one was mine because it has my picture on it. A good thing since I can't read yet.

On Christmas day we went to see our friend Stormy the Boston Terrier at Uncle Spence & Auntie Linda's house. And we got even more presents! I guess Santy Paws got confused about where we live or something.

Ratchet told me all about the "Big Snowstorm of Christmas 2008" and how neat it is to play in the snow. All we got was lots of rain, so I was pretty disappointed. And then it started snowing and we had a whole inch of snow to play in. Better late than never!

Since then we've been playing with our new toys, chasing each other all over the place and generally having lots of fun. On New Year's Eve, Ratchet and I told the people firing off fireworks what we thought of them and then we went to sleep.

New Year's wish from Ratchet & Clank

We want to wish everyone who follows our blog a Happy New Year and we hope all your puppies got lots of toys and treats. If they didn't, it's never too late to hit the sales at the pet store and bring home some goodies for them. Just tell 'em Santy Paws got lost or something.

Lots of laughs and lolling tongues,

Ratchet and Clank.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Holiday Cheese

Clank's Report:

We had a really great day today. The Moms climbed up in the attic and got down a whole bunch of boxes and bags and stuff. Ratchet & I ran all over the back yard and played chase and roll the Corgi.

By the time we got back in the house, there was neat tissue paper to play with and all kinds of stuff to sniff in the boxes. Ratchet told me he thought maybe it had something to do with Santy-Paws. I asked him who that was but he just rolled his eyes. Ratchet told me I'd find out when I open my stocking on Christmas morning. Then he snickered.

Then Mommy Annie put this really goofy thing around my neck that Ratchet said made me look like a court jester. It didn't fit too good, so that came off. They tried putting some reindeer antlers on Ratchet, but he kept trying to rub them off his head.

Things really started looking up when the Moms put on our Christmas neckerchiefs (that's what Ratchet calls them). They had us sit on our dog bed in front of the fireplace and took a whole bunch of pictures. Of course, there's no way we would have sat still for that long without....wait for it...CHEESE!

Everytime we sat still and looked nice for the camera, we each got a piece of string cheese. We were all set to sit still for the rest of the afternoon, but Mommy Shar said she got a couple good ones, and that was that.

I'm sorry they stopped giving us cheese, but I do like the picture. The only thing I still wonder about is this Santy-Paws guy. It must be something good, 'cause Ratchet is looking up at that stocking hanging on the mantel and he keeps smiling. Guess I'll just have to wait & see.

Friday, December 11, 2009

A History Lesson for Young Corgis

Ratchet’s report:

As you know, I’m trying to raise the kid up right (no small job, let me tell you), and I discovered a gap in his knowledge of the proud history of Cardigans. I’ve rectified that, but it occurred to me that there may be other Cardies out there suffering from the dis-information campaign of the dreaded Pembroke Corgi committee.

These guys have been swaggering around saying they are the Queen’s dogs because the Hanoverian took a fancy to the tailless little munchkins. Let me set the record straight, children, because we Cardies know who the real Queen’s dogs are. And we know which Queen we’re talking about, don’t we? Yeah, that’s right. Her eternal majesty, the magnificent Queen Mabh of the Fairies.

We aren’t just farm dogs, we’re a gift from the Fair Folk to the Welsh people. And here is the story.

Long, long ago, Queen Mabh and her retinue took a ride through the forest on their royal steeds. The mighty fairy dogs were the perfect steeds for the Fair Folk: low-slung to make it easy for the fairies to mount them; intelligent, kind and gentle so even the fairy children could ride them without fear; and brave and strong so they could carry their passengers far and away, and protect them from any danger. There was only one thing that could threaten both the Fair Folk and their steadfast mounts – cold iron.

Thus it was that one of the Queen’s favorite retainers and his enchanted dog ran afoul of a poacher’s trap, which laid them low. Now none of the other Fair Folk could approach the injured rider and dog because of the presence of the iron trap. Queen Mabh was distraught, but she did not know what she could do to save them.

A young girl and boy were wandering in the woods and they had hidden in the bushes to watch the ride of the Fairies. They were afraid to say anything because they had heard many stories of changelings and mysterious magics of the Fey, but they couldn’t let the poor fairy and his beautiful mount die. The boy spoke up and offered to help.

Queen Mabh was suspicious, and demanded to know what mischievous intent brought them into the forest at night. The girl explained that they had been sent by their father to rescue their prize ewe, who had wandered off from their small farm. Without her, their family would surely starve. The Queen told them to help her friends and she would give them a royal reward.

The boy pulled the cruel trap away from the rider and his steed, disabling it and throwing it into the bushes. The girl used some herbs to bind their injuries so they would heal quickly.

Queen Mabh was well pleased and made good on her promise to them. Ringing the golden bell that adorned her dog’s harness, she sprinkled Fairy dust and two beautiful puppies appeared. They bowed to the Queen and then ran to the boy and girl, looking up at them with their intelligent, attentive dark eyes.

“This gift I make for you and all your kin. These fairy dogs will protect you and yours, herd your cattle and sheep, and bring you laughter and love for they are the kindest and most loving dogs in the world.” Then Queen Mabh and her retinue gathered up their injured friends and rode off through the forest.

The farmer and his family raised the dogs and prospered. All the Cardigan Corgis come from those two fairy dogs. The Cardigan Corgi can trace its history back 3,000 years to the time of the most Ancient Celts (sorry, Pembrokes, but you guys only date back 1,000 years).

And you can tell this story is true because Cardigans show the fairy saddles and harnesses in their coats. Check it out – I’m not kidding! And every so often, if you go outside at night, you’ll hear that jingling bell to let you know the Fairies are near and want to go for a ride. If you play your cards right you might just get to romp with Queen Mabh and her crew.

So, go forth with pride, young Cardies. You are truly the Queen’s dogs.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

No Balls on Thanksgiving

Ratchet’s report:

We had a great Turkey Day last week. There was a nice walk and good smells all day, and then we had a really good dinner. Me and the kid had some turkey and stuffing on top of our kibble. Yummy!

We all gave thanks for the many blessings of the year, including the arrival of my little brother. I hate to say it, but I guess I am grateful for him, too. He really cheered me up after my big brother Jive went to the Rainbow Bridge.

But I gotta admit I’m really thankful that they got rid of that ball of his. We’ve gotten back to all our usual games and romps, except when the Moms get all fractious at us because he’s supposed to keep quiet because he’s still healing. Judging from the speed he races up and down the hallway, I’d sure hate to see what he’d do if he wasn’t convalescing. The kid is going to break the sound barrier any day now.

So, I’m pleased to report that everything’s back to normal now that the aberration of the ball has been taken care of. And this morning, we each got a treat from a dog Advent calendar, which is some sort of cardboard thingy with treats hidden behind little doors. Cool, huh?

Clank was hoping it was going to last all year, but I explained it’s only until Christmas. Then the kid asked me what Christmas is and I really had to laugh. He’s in for a big surprise in a few weeks.

His latest insanity is that he’s sending a picture of his butt to the Toreth blog (that’s his breeder), challenging his siblings to an exchange of fanny pictures. He claims he has a really cute butt, but I think he’s just compensating for not being able to sniff their butts like a proper Welsh gentleman.

Saturday, November 21, 2009


Clank’s Report:

I had the most dreadfullest experience yesterday. I went to the hospital and they shaved a bunch of fur off my tummy and my leg and then attached this weird tube thing and I got real tired and fell asleep. Next thing I know, I wake up with the most ginormous band-aid around my middle and my tummy is kinda sore, and my ball is missing! I don’t know what to think of that. Who’d want to steal my ball? It’s not like anybody else could use it or anything.

I had to wait a real long time for Mommy to come get me, and when she got there, I was so ready to go home. She looked real worried about something and she gave me lots of loves, and carried me to the car. I guess she missed me as much as I missed her.

I didn’t get the whole story until we got home and Ratchet explained it to me. It turns out that I didn’t have just the one ball. I had a whole other ball that was growing inside me. And Bianca (my nurse who totally loves Corgis) told Mommy that it was HUGE – the biggest ball they’d ever seen inside a puppy – Labrador size. I guess balls aren’t supposed to grow until they get outside, but this one had another idea.

And then Dr. Kienle told Mommy that it had wandered off into my ‘testines and wrapped around stuff and it was really hard to find and if they hadn’t taken it out it would have been real bad for my digestion (whatever that is). But she found it and now I don’t have a Labrador ball anymore. Ratchet says I can still tell all the guys at Puppy Park that I had the biggest ball in Corgi history. He says I get “bragging rights.” I hope they include cookies with that.

This morning we went back to the hospital and they checked my blood and everything is fine. So they took off my band-aid and I found out I have this really neat scar up my middle. That’s totally cool because I not only have my doggy pirate collar but I have a scar to go with it.

Avast, Matey. Now I think I need a hat.