Ouch!

Clank’s Report:

I had the most dreadfullest experience yesterday. I went to the hospital and they shaved a bunch of fur off my tummy and my leg and then attached this weird tube thing and I got real tired and fell asleep. Next thing I know, I wake up with the most ginormous band-aid around my middle and my tummy is kinda sore, and my ball is missing! I don’t know what to think of that. Who’d want to steal my ball? It’s not like anybody else could use it or anything.

I had to wait a real long time for Mommy to come get me, and when she got there, I was so ready to go home. She looked real worried about something and she gave me lots of loves, and carried me to the car. I guess she missed me as much as I missed her.

I didn’t get the whole story until we got home and Ratchet explained it to me. It turns out that I didn’t have just the one ball. I had a whole other ball that was growing inside me. And Bianca (my nurse who totally loves Corgis) told Mommy that it was HUGE – the biggest ball they’d ever seen inside a puppy – Labrador size. I guess balls aren’t supposed to grow until they get outside, but this one had another idea.

And then Dr. Kienle told Mommy that it had wandered off into my ‘testines and wrapped around stuff and it was really hard to find and if they hadn’t taken it out it would have been real bad for my digestion (whatever that is). But she found it and now I don’t have a Labrador ball anymore. Ratchet says I can still tell all the guys at Puppy Park that I had the biggest ball in Corgi history. He says I get “bragging rights.” I hope they include cookies with that.

This morning we went back to the hospital and they checked my blood and everything is fine. So they took off my band-aid and I found out I have this really neat scar up my middle. That’s totally cool because I not only have my doggy pirate collar but I have a scar to go with it.

Avast, Matey. Now I think I need a hat.

He Got Ball

Ratchet here to report on a very disturbing development. I’ve been pretty patient about the Wart. I’m a very understanding guy, despite what my Mom might say.

I put up with his annoying habit of waking me from a sound sleep barking about wanting to play chase. I let him nip me on the leg and the chest and the butt until I can’t stand it anymore, and then I chase him down and chew on his ear for awhile, which he seems to like. I’m even willing to overlook his newly acquired habit of latching onto my tail with his teeth so I drag him around the house like a furry caboose.

But I am telling you that I have hit my limit with this latest offense. A few weeks ago I noticed that something smelled different in the house and not in a good way. I traced it back to the Wart, who suddenly was sporting a new appendage. Yep, I know you other dogs know what I’m talking about. While I wasn’t looking he went ahead and sprouted a ball!

Now I do give him a couple points because he’s only got the one, but still. This is just too much for a nice fella like me to bear. How come he gets to have a ball when I haven’t seen mine since I was just a puppy? It is totally unfair.

I told Mom exactly what I thought in no uncertain terms. First she told me to quit barking at the top of my lungs and then she said not to worry about it, it was only temporary. But I’ve been watching this thing and it just keeps getting bigger. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t have two – he’s just going to grow one GIANT BALL. I tell you, it makes a guy nervous just thinking about it.

Well, anyway, Mom told me tonight that Clank is going to see Dr. Kienle tomorrow and when he gets home he won’t have a ball anymore. I sure hope so. I’m a wreck and I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this. Just yesterday he barked at me and his voice dropped at least an octave. I’m worried he’ll start growing and turn into a Rottweiler or something. I’m praying he comes home a nice ball-free Corgi tomorrow afternoon. Whew.

Back Online

Ratchet’s Report: No ‘Posable Thumbs!

I’m finally getting back online and I have to apologize to my loyal fans for the loooong hiatus. I blame my Mom. Now don’t get me wrong, I love her lots, but lately she’s been a total flake about writing up my reports. You see, I depend on her to take dictation and post my reports regularly because I lack that all-important aid to computer expression – ‘posable thumbs.

I have to tell you, I’m pretty steamed about this. It’s just unfair that there are no keyboards designed for paws. I mean, hey, these computer companies are missing a really great market ‘cause dogs have a lot to say and we love blogging. Well, Clank and I do anyway.

So, about Mom. She says she has a good excuse ‘cause she was busy revising her mystery novel so she could submit it to a publisher competition. It’s a mystery about some musicians and there’s a murder and a bunch of other boring stuff. Oh, and get this, NO DOG. I could tell her it’s never going to hit the bestseller lists without a dog, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Maybe she could revise it and try again later.

She’s finally mailed it off, so you can expect regular posts from yours truly (and the Wart) in the future. Thanks for hanging in there.


Following is a much belated post from Clank about his hideout.



Clank’s Report: Hideout

Toreth C-Myste Secret Agent Clank reporting on his latest discovery (hee-hee). Sorry, I can’t keep a straight face when I say my full name. My Mommy Shar says that’s what’s on my ped-a-gree from the Ay-kay-cee. Sounds pretty official. I guess the Ay-kay-cee must be the head Corgi or something. I asked Ratchet and he agreed that only a Corgi could be in charge of organizing Corgis.


Anyway, I found this really cool place under the blanket chest in the bedroom. I’m the only one who can fit under there and I crawl under it and hang out sometimes. It makes me laugh that I have my very own hideout, just like a secret agent. I guess that’s why I’m called Secret Agent Clank.