He Got Ball

Ratchet here to report on a very disturbing development. I’ve been pretty patient about the Wart. I’m a very understanding guy, despite what my Mom might say.

I put up with his annoying habit of waking me from a sound sleep barking about wanting to play chase. I let him nip me on the leg and the chest and the butt until I can’t stand it anymore, and then I chase him down and chew on his ear for awhile, which he seems to like. I’m even willing to overlook his newly acquired habit of latching onto my tail with his teeth so I drag him around the house like a furry caboose.

But I am telling you that I have hit my limit with this latest offense. A few weeks ago I noticed that something smelled different in the house and not in a good way. I traced it back to the Wart, who suddenly was sporting a new appendage. Yep, I know you other dogs know what I’m talking about. While I wasn’t looking he went ahead and sprouted a ball!

Now I do give him a couple points because he’s only got the one, but still. This is just too much for a nice fella like me to bear. How come he gets to have a ball when I haven’t seen mine since I was just a puppy? It is totally unfair.

I told Mom exactly what I thought in no uncertain terms. First she told me to quit barking at the top of my lungs and then she said not to worry about it, it was only temporary. But I’ve been watching this thing and it just keeps getting bigger. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t have two – he’s just going to grow one GIANT BALL. I tell you, it makes a guy nervous just thinking about it.

Well, anyway, Mom told me tonight that Clank is going to see Dr. Kienle tomorrow and when he gets home he won’t have a ball anymore. I sure hope so. I’m a wreck and I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this. Just yesterday he barked at me and his voice dropped at least an octave. I’m worried he’ll start growing and turn into a Rottweiler or something. I’m praying he comes home a nice ball-free Corgi tomorrow afternoon. Whew.